How does a sex therapy session work?
We can work together in person or by phone or Zoom. Sometimes, sessions by Zoom or phone at the beginning are a very useful way to build trust and confidence, setting the foundation for in person work later, and sometimes, they are all that is needed or wanted.
However you decide how you want to work with me, when we start our work together, we will have a detailed discussion about your issues and how we might address these. This is based in part on a questionnaire which you will have completed beforehand. We will agree short term, medium and longer term goals, and will talk about what methods and approaches we might use.
At the start of each session, we will talk about where you now are, and agree what we will do in that session. The most important thing is that each session is co-created with you. Nothing will happen without your active participation and agreement.
Often, people find the prospect of Bodywork too much at the outset, and I am happy to have talking only sessions. This is wonderful in itself: for many people, it is life changing to be able to talk about sexuality in a safe, warm and non judgmental enviroment. For some clients, that is all they want, while for others it builds the foundation of relationship and trust necessary for hands on work later.
As an alternative, I can work on your sense of embodiment and body pleasure by telephone or on Zoom, and you may find this a helpful and feasible way to start.
For in person sessions involving Bodywork, I find a minimum of two hours is best, for other sessions, a shorter time is possible. For sessions online or by telephone, my standard time is one hour.
If we are doing body work, we will always have a discussion beforehand about your boundaries, and I will not go beyond these, and we will always leave time at the end for discussion, feedback and assimilation.
The most important part of my work is being able to create a safe space, so you can be free to move out of a possibly habitual vigilance and tension, to be in a place where you can experience yourself differently, with more vitality, aliveness, curiosity, courage, joy and receptivity.
“Having sessions with John has been life changing for me. I feel safer and more confident in my body. I feel more, I am more sexual and I feel more free. Being a woman, it has been fabulous doing this kind of work with a man and I now feel more able to go forward and have sexual relationships. I wholeheartedly recommend seeing John. He very much works with you in a collaborative way, which I find empowering. He offers a safe space to discover things about yourself, as well as to find what you need and want”
Scientist and Administrator, Edinburgh