John Fraser, Somatic Sex Therapist and Sexological Bodyworker. Return to Homepage here
What happens in a sex therapy session? [this is concerned with the content of a session. For information about the structure of a session, please see here ]
Well, let’s ask a different question: if you were completely safe and felt completely welcome and respected, what would you choose to explore? And whi ch mode of working would you choose: in person, online or by telephone? Would you want to work through talk alone, through your body alone, or a combination? Would you like to learn new skills and perspectives?
Some people want to explore what it’s like just to rest in attentive, loving touch, where there’s no expectation on you to do or to feel anything.
Others feel disembodied, or only partially embodied, and want to explore the full range of their capacity for bodily pleasure and sensation. Sometimes they have always felt like this and may have never been in a satisfactory relationship, or have changed due to life events.
Some people want to recover a sense of themselves as sexual beings which they feel they’ve lost, perhaps due to having been in a long relationship, or having become a mother, or having gone through the menopause, or just losing confidence.
Others need help in opening themselves up to sexuality, perhaps because of difficult experiences when young, or significant life changes. That might entail advice about sexual techniques, guidance about how to masturbate more pleasurably and fully, or Erotic Massage.
Some people find that talking about sex in psychotherapy has not been particularly helpful, or that Relate or Marriage Guidance wasn’t particularly useful, and want to talk to someone who is comfortable with sexuality and won’t accidentally shame them.
Some people want to broaden their sense of what is possible. They have a sense “there must be something more!” but don’t know where to start.
Some people want to learn how to say yes, and how to say no. How to find out what they want, and how to ask for it.
Some people want to talk, and not be judged.
Some people feel alienated from the performance focused, orgasm and body focused view of sexuality and want to integrate their sexuality with their heart and their soulfulness.
My training is unusual, and broad. I have been immersed in tantra for 15 years with Shakti Tantra. I have trained in Sexological Bodywork. I have trained extensively in The Wheel Of Consent and other modalities. I am a Zen Buddhist teacher who views sexual issues as a major part of avoidable unhappiness, and who treats his clients from a position of respect, empowerment and love. I do not have sexual relations with any of my clients, present or past. Any activity in the session will be discussed and agreed beforehand, and I will maintain the boundary of that agreement.
If you’re curious about whether we’d be a good fit, please contact me
You can find a list of my articles, which give a good sense of the breadth of my work, here
If you’re interested in this field, want to work in person, but aren’t in Scotland, you should know that I offer a bespoke package of sessions over several days for those happy to travel to Glasgow.
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