Of all the forms of unhappiness, sexual unhappiness is the most tragic, both because it is so widespread and because it can be resolved, if we know how. But usually, we don’t know where to start. I do this work because I don’t want you to waste your life in unnecessary emotional pain.
As a young man I was very much in my head and not at all confident sexually. I started to get in touch with my body through improvisational dance and related practices, like body-mind centering, in my twenties. I also got into therapy, and trained in core process and gestalt, although I am not a psychotherapist. I have a strong Zen meditation practice. I am the founding teacher of The Glasgow Zen Group, which I have run for over 25 years. At the same time as developing these interests I have also had a working professional life as a solicitor and partner in a successful business for many years.
When I discovered Tantra in 2003 – by a complete accident – it changed my life. It made me feel more alive, more confident and much more embodied. Seven years ago my Tantra teacher, the great Hilly Spenceley, encouraged me to offer tantric sessions.
I found it answered a need in me to be in loving service, and in the people I worked with to feel fully met and fully accepted. However, I was aware of the need for a safe container before people could let themselves go. So I trained in Sexological Bodywork with Joseph Kramer, Deej Juventin and Uma Furman, qualifying in 2015.
I have maintained and deepened my connection with Shakti Tantra. I have trained with world renowned experts such as Ellen Heed and Caffyn Jess, recently completing Caffyn’s Intimacy Educator Programme. I have completed Dr Betty Martin’s inaugural year long practitioner training in The Wheel Of Consent. I have developed collaborative projects with dear colleagues in this developing field of sexology.
Finding my own way to the potency and pleasure of my body has been complicated for me, so I can really identify with people who feel the same. I know personally how people can be burdened with lots of ideas about how they ‘should’ be, and what their experience ‘ought’ to be. I love working with people to help them liberate themselves into a more authentic, richer life.
I could not have done any of this without the constant support and encouragement of my beloved partner Karen. She and I will still sometimes work together, particularly with couples, but she is now primarily engaged in developing her own unique work.