A lot of men have the sense that their idea of sex doesn’t really work for their partner, which means it doesn’t work much for them either.
Men have been brought up on an intercourse, technique and orgasm focused way of being sexual, which is physical, energetic and ‘harder, harder; faster, faster’ until they ejaculate. It’s very porn focused.
Except, it doesn’t seem to work. And they don’t know how to make it different, other than make it last a bit longer, or to try and improve their technique.
But the remedy isn’t technical, it’s relational. And that starts with learning how to touch differently.
Specifically, there needs to be a shift from a performance model, where the emphasis is on doing something to bring about arousal, to a relational model, where the focus is on connection.
But how do we learn to touch differently?
With my colleagues from The School Of Conscious Touch, I have created a way of working which, uniquely I think, addresses this.
Essentially, you work with me and with a female fellow therapist, and all three of us actively participate in the process. We will both work with you on how to create connection and intimacy, and you and I will then both work with touch on my colleague, who will give us feedback and responses. Rather than have her as just ‘the body’, she is fully participating, and rather than just modelling what intimate touch might look like [ you see the technique but not the effect], we will actively enact intimacy, so you get a clear sense of how connection, intimacy and arousal occur, and the confidence to take that back into your own life.
It’s a tremendous opportunity to unlearn the deep patterning which we all have around intimate touch, and to learn a new way of being with another person which is far more heartful and connected.
Obviously, as you need to pay for both of us rather than just one, it’s not cheap at £300 for a two hour session, but you don’t need many sessions to make a fundamental shift, which will have huge consequences for your life and for your happiness.
Prior to working with both of us, you and I would have a one hour consultation where I will explain the procedure in more detail, I can get a sense of where you are and where you want to go and whether this is right for you.