When you get in touch with me, you might be clear about what you want. You might want a tantric massage, for example, or learn about The Wheel Of Consent, or talk and explore. In that case, all we need to do is to have a telephone conversation so I can clearly know what you want and we can both decide if we want to work together, then we can just arrange our first working session.
But most of the time, I find that people are less sure about what they want. They can describe the issue -boredom with sex, lack of confidence or pleasure, inability to orgasm, for example – but they are uncertain about what’s needed to resolve it. And that’s not surprising. In our sex lives, we’re notoriously confused. Which is made worse by often thinking of our situation in unhelpful psychological terms [“I have attachment issues”] or that there’s something wrong with us [“why do I not know how to do this?”], rather than “How can my deep need for pleasure and connection be met?”. Rather than pick over the bones of the past, my focus is on helping you to change, to expand.
I want to liberate your longing for better experiences in the future, and your active curiosity and willingness to bring that about.
If you know what you want to change, but don’t yet know how, I find it helpful to work like this:
I suggest as a first step that you have a look at my articles, which give a good sense of my range and approach. You can find them here
Once you’ve done that, I suggest that you contact me, giving me some sense of where you’re at and your mobile or home number, and when would be a good time to have a phone call. I’ll then arrange this with you by email or text. The point of that initial call, which is free, is to help me get a sense of where you are coming from and whether I can help. And it’s for you to get a sense of who I am, and whether I’m the right person for you.
After that initial call, we can arrange a one hour in depth Exploratory Session. This can be on Zoom or in person. I will generally ask you to fill out a more detailed questionnaire prior to the session so I have a good understanding of where you are coming from, and I may also ask for additional information based on our initial conversation.
In our Exploratory Session, we will talk over everything, and I will outline the various ways in which I think we could work together, and we can talk about these in depth. That might be enough for you at the moment. Or you may decide that you would like us to work together. In that case, we will arrange a further session.
What do these sessions look like?
If we are doing Bodywork, the sessions are two hours long. We will have a period for talking and feedback at the start and end, so the bodywork part of the session will be between 60 and 90 minutes.
If we are working on Zoom, or if our session is talking only, the session will usually be one hour.
Quite often, particularly if there is trauma, it helps to have the first few sessions talk only, and gradually introduce touch after that. The secret of growth is always to try to stay in that sweet spot where it is challenging and expansive, but in a good way, not an overwhelming way.
You can contact me here
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