Karen and I recently did a Tantra course at Tao Gardens in Thailand. This is a Taoist centre just outside the town of Chiang Mai, in north west Thailand. It was set up by Mantak Chia about 10 years ago. The course was taught by him, teaching the taoist approach to sexuality and by Karen’s tantra teacher Charles Muir, who’s based in California. Master Chia is unusual amongst Taoist Masters as, although sexual energy is fundamental to taoism, it’s hardly ever talked about explicitly. He has written ‘Multi Orgasmic Man’, amongst a vast range of books. He’s nearly 72, but has incredible vigour and youth.
One of the things Charles taught us was Sacred Spot massage. In women, the sacred spot is the g spot. In men, the sacred spot is near the entrance to the anus. It feels different from the prostrate being massaged. The male sacred spot is connected with what’s called ‘the million dollar point’, which is the point you need to press if you want to inhibit ejaculation.
This sort of experience is wonderful for men, because it teaches them to be receptive, and teaches them about diverse pleasures other than ejaculatory orgasm.
However, what I found altered my perspective was something else he taught: soft cock entry. The funny thing was, he didn’t really teach us anything, he just opened it up as a possibility. Essentially, if the man and woman lie in a particular position, and they use lubrication, the woman can- to be inelegant, “quelle horreur!” place the man’s cock inside her, and it can just rest there.
And of course, once it’s there, it can feel all the female energy, and may well become bigger, but that isn’t really the point. It’s to get us out of a perspective where we think that a hard cock is a prerequisite to entry. It isn’t. And once we realize that, everything else changes too. Intercourse, for men, can be about receiving rather than doing, about simply experiencing. And it can also make us much more aware of the exchange of energy between the man and woman.
It changes everything.